A long goodbye…


It’s definitely been a mind trip since purchasing my one way ticket to Da Nang, Vietnam. Yeah. Vietnam.  Three years ago I said I would like to travel Jamaica. I still want to go. I had  researched  the history and culture, including the Rastafarians, but It was the United States economy that truly determined the fate of that that ever happening. My best friend had also moved onto bigger opportunities. I missed out on what would have been a hella cool experience.

K was laid off Valentine’s Day 2009. I was laid off Christmas Eve 2009. Leading up to my lay off I watched my wife, at first, struggle, and then flourish in her (f)unemployment. No longer able to google chat with her during the day, I spent some time during breaks searching the web. For months, before being laid off, I was biding my time, paid to look busy. I was really grateful to have that job as long as I did. At the same time it became harder and harder for me to make that early commute to Coliseum BART and a shuttle to an industrial park. During my commute hours I would sort out what I would do when I eventually got laid off, because It was just a matter of time.

Week after week if was the conference of the office as to what I would put on my time card. I couldn’t put down that I searched the web about teaching English overseas. The day was so void of actual CAD work that I would watch a movie on a monitor facing away from my office door and keep a drawing template open on the second monitor. Every few minutes I would move the screen and then zoom in and out. I tried to learn the 3D features of Auto CAD, but my mind was somewhere else.

I wasn’t happy about being laid off, but I was happy being laid off. I began to get real sleep without my CPAP machine. I no longer had anxiety about sleeping past my commute. K said I stopped snoring heavily. My eyes cleared of any hemorrhages blocking my vision. I finally had bunion surgery, which ended up being a waste, but it was still covered, because I left with a tiny severance. Tiny. Being laid off was good for my health.

*                                                      *                                                      *

Now, close to two years later, zion.free.johnson is ready to go international. Back in August 2010, I found an informational meeting about teaching abroad. LCC A young, dynamic man from Santa Barbara presented to me a palette of possibilities. Before going this route I researched going into graduate school, gender, FTM focused and realized I still wouldn’t be able to write what I wanted. I was also lost in academic vocabulary which, at times, feels astringent.

I completed my TEFL course in February 2011. It had a lively and diverse class. I appreciated all personalities, but one. They were a cast of characters I hope to wrangle into a meaningful story, one day. After completing the course I have nothing positive to say about the school itself. Two of the three instructors were amazing. My problem is that the school does’t do what they say, like their bullshit placement statement. If you’re into teaching then I highly recommend going this route but you need to be an independently minded individual and motivated. Let’s face it. I’m not getting any younger.

So, that’s how I found myself going to Vietnam. Why Vietnam?…It’s the only country, other than Saudi Arabia, that responded. K also seemed excited about it. That’s where I have been putting my energy and it’s paid off. I am ready to have my mind blown and after living in San Francisco for thirteen years you have to leave to country for that.

I leave August 30th. K will follow me in the new year. I feel overwhelmed, forgetful, excited, ecstatic, imaginative and brave. I confess to feeling like I won’t be homesick. I’ve been wanting to leave here for a long ass time now. I’ll miss certain conveniences, but I won’t miss MUNI. I’ll miss my friends, but hey, I’m going international. I’ll make more. Not replacements, just more support. I’ll miss my cats, but I will feel better not stressing them with 40 hours of travel, nor will they be poisoned or eaten by some animal from the jungle. I know that’s a bit dramatic, but I think of these things. It’s also just too blasted hot for these felines to feel comfy. They are too fluffy for heat and humidity. They are wonderful souls and we will find good homes for them.

I will miss my wife, but I hope to learn as much as I can to help her feel better in her transition. I will miss my wife, but I am really looking forward to taking this career leap after having been shut out of success in other paths. Sometimes I feel that I am forever starting new. I will miss my wife, but I am reminded of how gracious she is to uproot herself and go on this adventure with me. I will miss our apartment,( which we cannot sublet 😦 ) with it’s cheap rent. On the other hand I WILL NOT miss another cold ass winter in that flat…

near launderland

I believe I’ve left enough of a mark on this city that I can move on. I’ve left my name and initials in wet cement . I was a leader in the transgender community. I’ve wired a few buildings in San Francisco, including the Ferry Building, as an electrical apprentice.

I’ve been feeling really good about myself. I feel strong having lost 40 pounds. Man, I can move now. I climb Twin Peaks for the first time. It was a view I will never forget…

I finished writing a novel. I am very excited about it. It’s a mystery set in San Francisco. Murders are occurring in Dolores Park. The victims are transgender males. The cast of characters must must deal with the fact that one of them had been wickedly beaten and he might not be the last. The protagonist also must deal with changing attractions, gender fluidity, and her past. It’s the first in a series. So now the query letter must be written. I think I have a winner.

I would like to think that living abroad is more of a family tradition. My mother lived in Japan. My father has been all over the world while he was in the Air Force. I was born overseas… I look forward to so many things, including my departure, but more so my return into foggy loving arms of San Francisco and the people I love.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “A long goodbye…

  1. Hey Zion, It was great to read your blog message. It sounds exciting and adventurous. I admire your courage in taking that step or several steps. I wish you and your wife an awesome experience!

  2. Zion…so you appreciated all the various and diverse personalities in the TEFL class save one? Hmmm. Now who could that unfortunate being have been?

    It’s excellent to hear that you are moving ahead with your plans for new experiences and opportunities. Courage lies not in taking the first step; rather, it lies in keeping in motion.

    Stay free, stay open, stay aware and stay yourself. It will be with much anticipation that I’ll look forward to reading of your exploits and learning of the new, fresh opinions that you’ve gathered from living internationally.

    And don’t fret about the Rastas…there are still plenty of years left to set your clock to “island time”. Ja mon’!

  3. Whoo hoooo! What a courageous adventure you have chosen! I’m very, very happy for you! I’m also happy for and Karli living your dreams to travel and live overseas.

    So when is the going away party?

    Peace,
    Fresh!

  4. Hey don’t forget that your sister lived in Asia, too! Speaking of, Jeff and I are going to be in Japan in late November with our bands. You should come up and see us!

    I am very excited for you guys, and having done the living-abroad thing, feel free to vent to me at the wonder and challenges such a move gives rise to. AND I lived without my mate for 6 months when he was on deployment, so I know how that goes, too. Also, I would like a copy of your book, please.

    Sister Sandi

  5. Hey Zion, great hearing your story here. I’m sure you’ll make friends wherever you go. Good luck to you and K! Also congrats on finishing that novel! I look forward to reading about your experiences abroad 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s