Behind in my blog entries…trying to keep things in order.
is ticking away. Things are being marked off my “to do” list everyday and another item is added to it every hour. This week remains to be the most emotional of weeks. Crappy SF weather, tasking, research, reservations, packing, selling… This week also became more emotional as I said farewell to a friend embarking on further education and life on the east coast. It was fun to see people I hadn’t seen in a few years. I met a couple of new ones. Then it hit me. I have a lot of people to say good-bye to and I don’t know if I will be able to reach them all. I began to imagine what my last huzzahs would be like. It took a lot out of me putting it together.
Sadness hits me in different moments…that I am leaving some wonderful people. There are going to be some things I will miss out on. I’m gonna miss Lil’ Z. I will miss my godson to no end. I got a little baby cousin living in Noe Valley that I was getting to know. Kids make me smile. My awesome people have some awesome kids. If I can explain the feeling better I would try to say that everyone has this little energy cell or battery that they feed love and then it feeds me. It works remotely, probably left in some corner on a shelf, quietly acquiring thoughts and love of me. The closer I am to this remote source the more tied in I feel. I’m strengthened nd motivated. There is a bit of fear about being at such a distance from these small sources of love.
The nuclear winter we had been experiencing the past week in San Francisco didn’t help with my mood either. Finally, the winter weather receded back into the Sunset district and I am reminded of my inspirations. I know some awesome people, my champions, my cheerleaders. I have been able to draw strength and inspiration. Mr. Gaetano is a great source of inspiration. He’s always been a hard worker. I’ve only known him to work with compassion and passion. This summer went by too fast. I only got to visit with Matt and Julie for a hot second this year. That dude is my buddy. He makes me forget things, like how I don’t care for tequila. That is the devil’s drink. I’m going to miss our little reunions. As a director of an international school in Nouakchott, Mauritania, I will save the true story written under an alias, where all the characters names have been changed. He does get credit for giving the warmest loving friendship in the world. With that I tend to hang on to his every word as he tells me what he has seen in the world. I did decide, though, that I had heard a lot of his adventures and that I needed to make my own.
I know of two people from my TEFL class who have moved abroad. We carpooled together to class weekly. Archie and BeBe have been traveling since April. They began in Cambodia and are making their way to Turkey. Amazing! They may be there before this is published and I wish them the best of luck! I am realizing I have this small international community now, even if it doesn’t yet exist in Da Nang. It will.
There are a lot of things that have been weighing on my mind. It never fails that someone asks how I feel about being away from K. It’s going to kind of suck. I will have to grow half a brain in the next two weeks. Then there will be the talking to myself in the hotel room…I try to reflect on a good friend of mine who went through years of being apart from her husband. I remember meeting up with my friend Michelle in her town of Seattle. She’s is a calm, but motivated individual. She’s strong and grounded, but vulnerable and I could see how she was a bit lonely. It’s an amazing type of individual to allow for such space and time for their partner to grow and enhance their being. If Obie and Michelle can do it and survive years apart, then Karli and I will make if for the five months we will be apart.
I am a blessed individual. I deeply appreciate the opportunities set out before me and the leeway to pursue them. That too is inspiring to me. It’s not time to waste any opportunity in your life. I don’t particularly want to be remembered for what I didn’t do…